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A Christmas letter to your boyfriend, with 3 examples
A good Christmas letter to your boyfriend is about this one year, not about love in general. Set the scene in a line, then tell him about one moment from it, one thing you noticed about him, and one small thing you want to do together next year, and keep it to a page. Below is a shape that works for any letter, three examples for a first Christmas, a few years in and a Christmas apart, and how to give it to him.
What to write in a Christmas letter to your boyfriend
Most Christmas letters go wrong in the same way: they try to cover the whole relationship and end up sounding like a card from a shop. Give yours four parts instead, a few sentences each:
- Where you are as you write. One line to set the scene: the tree half up, the radio on, the cold coming in under the door. It puts him in the room with you.
- One moment from this year. Not the highlights. One evening, with what was said, what you ate and the detail only the two of you would remember.
- One thing you noticed about him. Something he did this year without expecting thanks: the way he looked after his brother, the job he stuck at, the morning he got up first so you could sleep.
- A small promise for next year. Something you can actually do, with a date or a place: the walk you've talked about since the summer, the recipe you'll finally learn, the weekend away in March.
Sign off with what you'd say at the end of a call with him: "Love you, see you Friday" is plenty. If you'd like more on the craft of it, our guide on how to write a love letter goes step by step.
A short Christmas letter for your first Christmas together
The first one should be light. He's still learning how you sound on paper, so keep it under a hundred words and let one memory do the work:
Writing this with the window open a crack, because the radiator in here has two settings and neither of them is right. In June you carried my mattress up four flights on your own because I said the stairs looked fine. They did not look fine. This year you made a lot of things look easy. Next year, I'd like us to find out what the mountains look like in April. Happy first Christmas.
A Christmas letter for him, a few years in
After a few Christmases, the danger is repeating last year's letter. Pick something that only happened in this one, and be more specific about him than you'd dare in a card:
It's the night before we drive to your parents' and the car is already packed, because you packed it, because you always do. I keep thinking about the Saturday in October when the heating broke and we ate soup in our coats and played cards until two. It was one of my best days this year, and nothing happened in it. This year I watched you go back to studying at thirty-one and not complain once, even at the exam I know you thought you'd failed. You didn't, by the way. I was proud of you before the result. Next year I want one weekend a month with no plans at all. You can choose the first one. Merry Christmas. I love you.
A long distance Christmas letter to your boyfriend
When you won't be together on the 25th, the letter has to carry more of the day. Say where you'll be, picture where he'll be, and give him a date to hold on to:
By the time you read this I'll be at my sister's, losing at the board game she always wins, and you'll be at your mother's table, being asked when you're going to visit me. Tell her the 9th. I've been thinking about the last morning before you flew back, when we sat in the car outside the terminal for twenty minutes so we wouldn't have to say it. This year you called me every night at eleven my time, even the night your phone was at three percent. Next Christmas we spend in one place. Until then, the 9th. I love you.
If the letter is going in a parcel, send it early: our long distance Christmas gift ideas have the send-by rule and how to work out his Christmas morning from your side of the time difference.
What to write in a Christmas card to your boyfriend
A card has room for two or three lines. Keep the promise and one other part, the moment or the thing you noticed about him, and drop the rest. The first one below is the few-years-in letter, cut down to fit.
Best day of this year: the Saturday the heating broke and we ate soup in our coats. Next year, more days like that. Merry Christmas. I love you.
I saw how hard this year was for you, and how you never let it show at home. First weekend of March, just us. Merry Christmas.
What to leave out
- The year in review. January to December is a report, not a letter. Choose one moment and let it stand for the rest.
- "Forever" and "always". They're fine in a song. In a letter, a promise with a date in it means more.
- Digs at his family's Christmas. Not even as a joke. He'll read it on the day, possibly with them nearby.
- The present. Don't explain the gift in the letter, or say sorry for it. Let the letter be its own thing.
- A paragraph you'd be embarrassed to have read out. He might read it aloud. Write as if he will.
How to give him a Christmas letter
- After the presents, not before. When the wrapping paper is everywhere and everyone has gone quiet, hand it to him on its own.
- In his coat pocket. For the walk on Christmas morning, or the drive to his family's. He'll find it when he reaches for his gloves.
- On Christmas Eve, late. If your Christmas Day is busy, the night before is the quiet moment. Leave it on his pillow.
- Read aloud. Only if you both like that kind of thing. Some people can't hear a letter about themselves read out without leaving the room.
If you're apart, or you'd like it to come with your photos and a song, a digital gift can hold the letter. With a premium template, "Schedule the reveal" can set it to open on Christmas morning in his time zone. Below are three that hold a letter well; there are more on the Christmas page and among the digital gifts for your boyfriend.
Questions people ask
What should I write in a Christmas letter to my boyfriend?
Four short parts: where you are as you write, one moment from this year told in full, one thing you noticed about him this year, and a small promise for next year with a date or a place in it.
How long should a Christmas letter to my boyfriend be?
One page, or about 100 to 200 words. Past a page, the best line gets lost. If you've written three pages, keep the best paragraph from each.
What do I write if it's our first Christmas together?
Keep it light and under a hundred words. Tell him one memory from this year, one thing he made easy, and one small plan for the spring.
When should I give my boyfriend a Christmas letter?
After the presents, when the room has gone quiet, or late on Christmas Eve. If you're apart, send it early in a parcel or, on a premium template, schedule it to open on his Christmas morning.
