Thinking of you messages for him that say why

Why the reason matters more than the words

"Thinking of you" tells him you thought of him. The reason tells him what you think of when you think of him, and that's the part he wants. It also proves the message isn't one you send on autopilot. A good one has three parts, and the last is the easiest to forget:

1. What reminded you. Something you saw, heard or remembered today. The smaller and stranger, the better.
2. That it was him you thought of. Say it plainly. "Thought of you" is enough.
3. Nothing he has to do. No question, no "call me?". He can answer when he likes, or just smile at his phone.

Thinking of you messages for him on an ordinary day

Most days nothing is wrong and nothing is happening. That's when these work best, because he wasn't expecting one:

• "Found one of your socks in my bag. Not sure how. Thinking of you."
• "Someone laughed at the post office and it was nearly your laugh. Nearly."
• "I made your coffee order by accident. Drinking it anyway, thinking of you."
• "The sky's doing that orange thing you always stop the car for."
• "Read something funny and wanted to tell you before anyone else. Saving it for tonight."
• "Middle of a meeting, thinking about Saturday. That's all."

When he's having a hard week

Exams, a sick parent, a job that's grinding him down. A hard week is when a thinking of you message matters most and when it's easiest to get wrong. Don't send advice and don't ask how he's feeling for the third time today. Send something that asks nothing and reminds him the week ends. For the bad single days, our guide to cute things to say to your boyfriend has a section of its own.

• "No need to reply. Just know I'm on your side of this."
• "Thinking of you and your dad today. Dinner's handled, so don't think about that."
• "You've got two exams left. After that, I've got plans for you and none of them involve studying."
• "I know you're running on empty. I'm proud of you for still showing up."
• "If you want to talk, I'm here. If you want to not talk, I'm also here."
• "Thinking of you today. I know what today is."

Timing matters more here than anywhere. If he has a hospital visit at two or an exam at nine, send it after, when the adrenaline drops, not before, when he's trying to concentrate.

Thinking of you messages for him when you're apart

A work trip, a week at his parents', or months in different cities. Apart, "thinking of you" can slide into "missing you", and missing you every day turns heavy. Mix in what you're doing and what you're saving for him:

• "Your side of the bed is still made. I'm not touching it until you're back."
• "Tried the new place on the corner. Two stars without you, four with you, probably."
• "Watched the first ten minutes of our show and stopped. I'll wait."
• "Eleven more sleeps. I'm counting, in case you weren't."
• "Thinking of you in that hotel room with the terrible pillows. Mine's better and so am I."

If he's in another time zone, send it for his lunch or his evening, not your midnight. When it's months rather than days, a stack of open when letters covers the moments a text can't.

Romantic thinking of you messages for him

Romantic doesn't mean flowery. These read like something you'd actually say, and send before you can talk yourself out of it:

• "I was thinking about the first time you held my hand and pretended it was to cross the road."
• "I keep catching myself smiling at nothing. It's you. It's always you."
• "You've been in my head all day, and I've decided I don't want you to leave."
• "I love you. I was thinking it, so I'm writing it."
• "Some days I can't believe I get to come home to you. Today's one of them."

Short and funny thinking of you texts for him

• "Thinking of you. Not in a mushy way. Okay, in a mushy way."
• "A pigeon just stole someone's sandwich with total confidence and I thought: that's my man."
• "I was so busy thinking about you that I tried to open the front door with my work badge."
• "This is your daily reminder that I think you're great and that you owe me a coffee."
• "Saw a man parallel park in one go. Thought of you. Then thought of you trying."

Thinking of you messages for him when it's still new

A few weeks in, lines about his side of the bed are too much. Keep the reason, keep it light, and leave out anything about forever:

• "Someone on the train was reading the book you told me about. Thought of you."
• "Walked past the place from Friday. Still thinking about that dessert."
• "Heard a song you'd hate. Thought of you anyway."
• "Long day. The best part was remembering Saturday."

When to send a thinking of you message

• When the thought happens, mostly. The message is about the moment you thought of him, so it reads best sent then. Waiting until it's convenient turns it into a report.
• But not in his busiest hour. If you know he's presenting at eleven, hold it until twelve. Mid-afternoon, when the day sags, is a safe default.
• Once, not three times. If he doesn't reply, he's busy. A second "??" undoes the first message.
• Not only when something's wrong. If the only thinking of you texts he gets come on bad days, they start to feel like check-ups.

Turn one into something he keeps

A text scrolls away by the weekend. Every so often, put a few of them somewhere he'll open again. Paper Crane and Text Thread are premium, and The Letter is free. All three are among our just because gifts, and our digital gifts for your boyfriend have more ideas for him.