FreeFree quiz
Love language quiz
Thirty quick choices, each between two things that feel like love. You'll get your love language and how all five rank for you. Then send the link to your partner: once they've answered, you'll both see where you match and where you don't.
Question 1 of 30
30 questions · about 4 minutes · no emailYour answers stay on this device. A link you send carries only your scores and the first name you add.
The five love languages come from Gary Chapman's 1992 book The 5 Love Languages. This quiz and its questions are our own, and Ethos isn't connected to Dr. Chapman or his publisher.
The five love languages, in plain words
Most people want all five. The quiz shows which one wins when you have to choose.
Words of affirmation
You feel loved when it's said out loud, or written down.
Hearing it is what makes it real for you: a thank-you that names the actual thing, a “proud of you” you didn't have to fish for, a message that could only be about you. Words land harder the other way too, and one careless line in an argument can stay with you for weeks.
- A compliment that says exactly what, and why
- A note left where you'll find it hours later
- Being praised in front of other people
- Thanks for the effort nobody else noticed
Quality time
You feel loved when you have someone's whole attention.
Twenty minutes with both phones in a drawer beats a whole weekend side by side on separate screens. You can tell when someone is half-listening, and a canceled plan stings more than the plan itself was worth.
- Plans for the two of you, in the calendar and kept
- A question that shows they listened last time
- Phones face down at dinner
- Coming along on an errand, just for the company
Receiving gifts
You feel loved when something shows they were thinking of you.
What counts is the evidence: they saw something, thought of you and carried it home. A ticket stub from the gig you couldn't make, a bar of the chocolate you mentioned once. A forgotten birthday, or a present that could have been for anyone, lands harder on you than on most.
- Something small brought back from any trip
- A present that remembers a passing comment
- Flowers for no occasion
- Wrapping that took effort, even on something tiny
Acts of service
You feel loved when someone makes your load lighter.
Love, for you, looks like a job done without being asked: the trash taken out, the form filled in, the car booked in for its service. You notice who does what, help that comes with a sigh or a lecture doesn't count, and one job done beats three promised.
- A chore done before you noticed it needed doing
- Taking over the admin you've been dreading
- Breakfast made on a morning you're running late
- “I'll handle it”, and then they do
Physical touch
You feel loved when someone reaches for you.
A hand on your back in a crowd, their head on your shoulder on the train: small, constant contact is how you know things are fine between you. Distance is hardest on you, and so is someone keeping to the far side of the bed after an argument.
- Reaching for your hand without thinking
- A hug that lasts longer than hello
- Sitting close on the sofa, not at opposite ends
- A kiss hello and goodbye, every time
A gift in each language
Once you know theirs, make them something that speaks it. Each of these opens on their phone, with your photos and your words.
Words of affirmation
FreeQuality time
PremiumPicnic
A basket on a gingham blanket. Every thing they take out carries a line from you.
Receiving gifts
PremiumActs of service
PremiumPhysical touch
PremiumXOXO
Sealed with a kiss. Lipstick prints, polaroids, and every tap leaves another kiss.
Questions
What are the five love languages?
Words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch: five ways people give and notice love, named by Gary Chapman in his 1992 book. Most people want all five. What differs is which one they reach for first, and which they'd miss most if it stopped.
How does this love language quiz work?
It asks 30 questions, each a choice between two things that feel like love. Every pair of languages comes up three times, so each language is on offer twelve times, and your score is how often you picked it. The result shows all five as a share of your answers.
Is this the official love language quiz?
No. The official quiz is on 5lovelanguages.com, the site of Gary Chapman's book. This one is ours: we wrote the questions, it's free, it doesn't ask for an email, and it's made for comparing results with a partner.
How do we compare our results as a couple?
When you finish, send your partner the link. It opens the quiz for them with your result tucked inside, and when they finish, you both see your five side by side, what each of you needs from the other, and a link to send back. On the same phone? Tap “Your partner's turn, on this phone” instead.
Can you have more than one love language?
Yes. Ties are common, and most people score something in all five. The quiz names every language that shares the top score, and the bars show how close the others are. If two are only a few percent apart, treat them as a pair.
What if our love languages are different?
That's the usual case. Chapman's own observation is that people give love the way they'd like to get it. If yours is quality time and theirs is acts of service, your evening plans and the shelf they finally put up are both love; each of you just hears one of them better.
Are love languages backed by research?
Not much. A 2024 review by relationship scientists Emily Impett, Haeyoung Gideon Park and Amy Muise found little evidence that people have one primary love language, that there are exactly five, or that couples whose languages match are happier. The authors compare love to a balanced diet: people do best with all five. So skip the score and ask each other what would make you feel loved this week.
Do you keep my answers?
No. Your answers stay in your browser, which remembers them on this device. We count, without knowing who you are, how many people finish and which language comes first. The link you send carries only your five scores and, if you add it, your first name.